So I have been thinking a lot lately about what type of creation this new phase of my life is supposed to be. I love the video based on Pres Uchtdorf's talk about creating (below)
VIDEO
It is easy to recognize creation when you are working on discrete and challenging tasks such as helping people and groups to recognize how their behaviors affect their effectiveness or in working one on one with a manager to improve their ability to lead. It is easy to feel the pride of creation when you are rolling out academic papers or putting together seminars or conferences. But what happens now that I am not in an environment that measures and rewards creation?
In past times women were limited (or society attempted to limit them) in what areas they could create. The feminist movement fought hard to open equal opportunities for women. Whether I agree with all of their philosophies and choices or not, many women have fought and blazed a trail for women to dream of being able to create whatever they want.
However, I think one of the challenges we have now is in restricting our own view and understanding of creation. I have struggled a bit with this in the last 9 months as I have adjusted to being at home with Blake. What can I create on a daily basis? It was easy to be excited about creation as Blake grew in my belly and the excitement and anticipation of seeing him grow. But is it that easy to feel the excitement of creation on a daily basis? It seems like the challenge now is not falling into a rut of simply taking care of Blake, myself and our little family. But how?
I read an article today that talks a lot about the reality of work-family balance, of what trying to be successful in a career and in family really means. I really like a lot of it (link here ) . But a couple things that really occurred to me as I read it:
Life is "the happiness project" - that is my creation. Men are that they might have joy - so why do I sometimes let someone else influence or define what success or joy looks like in my life? The majority of participants in the conversation about what success as a woman looks like have painted a picture that success means to "have it all" - meaning success both as a professional and as a parent. And yet, many seem to feel guilty or compromised in one or both of those areas. This picture of success is drastically altered if framed as happiness. How does my outlook change if I focus simply on creating happiness? How do my decisions change?
Happiness cannot occur unless my "self" is clear. If I know who I am, and what brings lasting, enduring happiness - only then can I have the right vision of the happiness project for my life.
Creating happiness occurs in moments - and in eternity. It can be hard to create happiness if we are constantly focused on discrete tasks and linear steps. It can only happen if I hold the long-term vision in balance with taking advantage of the moments to create that happiness.
Being a mom IS about taking care of the family, but it is ALSO about creating happiness for all of us. With all of the books and products and philosophies out there claiming to help people be happy, how amazing is it that I get to play in my owns sandbox to figure out how to create happiness for me and my family?!
I guess, in the end, I have arrived at the answer that maintaining creation in my life doesn't have one answer for all times. But, in reality, that just means that I can do ANYTHING. I just need to wake up each morning asking, "What am I going to create today?" . . . and then be happy if it's simply a smile and a full stomach :)
2 comments:
Ah, I see we read the same article today! It had me thinking too...I'm a bit younger than the author, but have seen much of what she has seen.
You have a special gift for your work that I miss, but one of the things women have earned the right to do is to choose what work they will do at each phase of their lives.
Enjoy your own happiness project!
~Laura
Thanks :) It's good to see some of my own reflections written out more systematically and to reinforce them!
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